Log in

07 January 2016 @ 02:47 am
Is this thing still on?

...Ugh. What happened to you, LJ?
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: confusedconfused
21 June 2012 @ 11:34 am
My email, after getting accepted into a dance company and receiving a contract to sign:
"Thought you'd like to look over this as well. They take it pretty seriously!"

Her email reply:
"This is their BUSINESS, of course they take it very seriously. It is somebody's business.

The question is, is it your business? Is it worth it to you? What is in it for you? What is your priority? Does it fit in your priority? What is the most important thing for you next? How do you get there?

You need to ask yourself these serious questions everyday!

Everyone takes their own business as the most important thing so they push other people to follow their priorities.

Make sure you take your own priorities in your own hands."

My thought:

Is this seriously the crap that runs through her brain whenever she takes any kind of action? Ridiculous anxiety and paranoia?

She'll never stop clucking. I'll just keep dumping her crap here so it's not bouncing around my head, and move on.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: annoyedannoyed
04 March 2011 @ 10:31 pm
I didn't write these. But they sum up almost perfectly what I have been feeling for my entire life - a disconnect, ambivalence and near-dysphoria towards this body that I've had to grow up in.

Part 1: http://calvinahobbes.dreamwidth.org/36256.html
Part 2: http://calvinahobbes.dreamwidth.org/36551.html
Part 3: http://calvinahobbes.dreamwidth.org/36695.html

*I should point out that (for label's sake), this author identifies herself as "queer" by default, due to identifying as asexual. I, personally, do not identify as queer — even if it is the blanket term for "anything not heteronormative." It just doesn't fit with how I perceive my identity. But then again, a lot of things don't fit, do they?
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: indescribableindescribable

Amy Chua is everywhere to tell you how she's raising her kids to proliferate the stereotype that validates her existence.

Maybe it's personal, and maybe it's also media saturation, but I am TIRED of seeing that article all over the place. We can debate it to death (and I'm sure I could join in the fray), but we are giving this attention-seeking monster EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS. She is getting all the societal validation she could possibly dream of - that her methods are newsworthy, that her daughters are perfect models, and that all her efforts paid off (no matter how she attempts to backtrack and "regret" them now).

And let's not forget that she is PROFITING OFF HER CHILDREN NOW. A mother's unconditional love, indeed. I frankly do not care that people who have read the book are saying that the WSJ "excerpt" is only a fraction of the whole. I do not care that this woman is making the publicity rounds, claiming her book actually documents her "transformation" and her "humility."

Because I do not see an ounce of either qualities in her face, and I do not hear anything but smugness and self-righteousness in her voice (her patronizing carefully-crafted Californian voice with a hint of Ivy League/East Coast polish).

Let's face it - the less attention we give to her and to mother figures of similar ilk, the better.

I think the following quote sums up my feelings pretty well, and why I am unwilling to spend any more of my energy on this appalling mother when I have already wasted so much dealing with my own.

"...It didn't just hit close to home, it hit home like a heat-seeking missile. It brought up a lot of bitterness. Shit was too real. It was a reminder of why so many of us will spend the rest of our lives talking almost exclusively about our mothers in therapy. Yet, after reading the book, and realizing that Amy Chua is less of a monster and more of a deeply flawed human being who just isn't all that introspective -- which is sort of how we strive to see our parents when we have complicated relationships with them, no? -- I felt a genuine sense of relief. It took a lot of energy hating her, in the same way it takes a lot of energy hating your own mother, more energy than forgiving her does, in most cases." - Source
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: aggravatedaggravated
Tonight's Entertainment: Sounds of the office
16 November 2010 @ 08:26 pm
The old me is nearly gone.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: tiredtired
Tonight's Entertainment: Warm lights
30 October 2010 @ 11:37 pm

Still want to buy something for yourself?

Still have a friend in need of a gift?

Still need something to wear when Inception comes out on DVD December 7? (FUCK YEAH)

After November 20, 2010, "Kick Me" will no longer be in print.

Pre-order now in the "Store" at www.endearinglycreepy.com until November 20 to be included in the final batch EVER. All sizes up for grabs (XS, S, M, L, XL). Domestic US shipping is still $5. International shipping is now a flat rate of $13 to anywhere.

On November 21, the store will be CLOSED.

Shirts will begin shipping December 1.

In conclusion: I LOVE YOU ALL. Keep writing fic, keep drawing art, and never be afraid to dream a little bigger, darlings.

Special mentions must go to:

weatherfront for being my biggest cheerleader
the fuckyeahinception Tumblr masses
and the eames_arthur community for being so talented, it blows my mind.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: happyhappy
Tonight's Entertainment: BRRRRM
20 October 2010 @ 07:27 pm
Why won't this embed properly? Well, just click here to see what I drew in about an hour today.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: creativecreative
Tonight's Entertainment: Dystopian music
11 September 2010 @ 06:31 pm
So there's this little movie called "Inception."

And boy, did it live up to its name, because when I walked out of the theatre, all I could think about was making SOMETHING.

Something to channel all my awe and admiration.

Something to completely geek out about, that I could point to and say, "That's right, THAT is how obsessed I am."

Something like this:

Say hello to "KICK ME!" You can find it in the store on my website, www.endearinglycreepy.com, where it is currently available for pre-order for $35. Everything will be handled through PayPal.

See larger photos at my Tumblr post here.

Here are some details:Collapse )

The first batch goes to print on Monday (September 13), so the first bunch of people who order now will get them within 2 to 3 weeks. I'll be handling the shipping myself :)

For people outside the US: I create the shipping options by demand, so if your country is not available, leave a comment here to let me know, and I will add it ASAP.

In conclusion: Hi, I'm a willing victim of inception, and I can't wait until it happens again.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: accomplishedaccomplished
Tonight's Entertainment: BBBBRRRRRRRMMMMMM
29 August 2010 @ 05:02 am
I think I'm going to upgrade to a paid account. After all, I'm making my own money now, and I can finally relax enough to talk about more things besides family torment.

I think it's time to start taking myself apart for a change. Who I am, what I like, and so on. Especially since I simply haven't had a chance to really figure those things out for myself in my earlier formative years.

Still growing up. But now it's not so bad.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: contemplativecontemplative
Tonight's Entertainment: Night stillness
11 August 2010 @ 09:27 pm
I figure it's time for an update. And for the first time in a long time, it's bittersweet.

Everything I had secretly hoped for since the start of it all has finally come true. I completed portfolio school in early June - by then, I was already in talks with an advertising agency. My official job offer came one week after graduation.

At long last, I am finally independent and setting out on the future I've sacrificed so much for. I made the move from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and am now happily keeping my same insomniac schedule - the difference is, I actually get paid for it now.

My sister was accepted into NYU for her undergrad, and into the honors business school, no less. She will be moving out to the East coast later this month.

My dad moved back into the house after a couple of weeks of leaving, but this time with a clear ultimatum - the next time he felt that his physical safety or the safety of my sister was at stake, he would be moving out for good.

Something about that must have shaken her. Perhaps she wanted to avoid any public knowledge of this, should it happen. Perhaps she realized that if we all left her in this way, she would be utterly alone for the rest of her life.

...Whatever it was, she agreed. And there has been a tenuous peace in the house ever since.

Of course, there was universal relief at my sister's acceptance into a good university, and there was even greater profound relief all around when I called home to say I was employed.

The subsequent trip I made back home in the few days between receiving the job offer and starting the job were so bizarre in their normalcy.

And I'm honestly going to say, I didn't trust it for one second.

I'm not poking the sleeping dragon. I'm not saying I'm not grateful that she now treats me like I belong...like she finally approves of me.

But it's asking the impossible to simply wipe away years and years of escalating abuse.

And it's asking the impossible for her to admit she did something wrong.

So we're simply at another stalemate.

But this time, it's not a hurtful one.

It's the best we could have all hoped for.
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You: okayokay
Tonight's Entertainment: A quiet evening